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How we hurt our children
One psychologist said: “At every opportunity - take your child by the hand! It will take quite a bit of time, and he will cease to stretch his palm to you! ”
Everything that we do in the lives of our children comes back a hundredfold. If a child grows in trust - he also learns to trust others, if the child is loved and supported, he becomes attentive and caring.
But there are terrible mistakes that adults make under the influence of anger or indifference, without thinking about how this can turn into a little baby shower ...
We very much offend our children when:
1.WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND
At 13, I fell in love. Zhenka was an excellent student - complacent and malicious. But it seemed to me that he was an ideal. However, the ideal did not pay any attention to me at all, and I cried. And my mother, trying to console me, carried complete nonsense: “What do you mean! This is so frivolous. In a year everything will pass! ”And I didn’t want my state of falling in love at all.Then I saw the same picture in the movie "You never dreamed of":
- Mom, I love Kate!
- Oh, do not be ridiculous. Such Cats you will have a million! ..
“And why do you parents know everything for us in advance?”
Little Caruso came running from school in tears: “Mom! The singing teacher said that I have a voice - as if the wind in the pipe howls! ” “Well, what are you, son! Do not listen to anyone. You sing like the most beautiful nightingale in the world. I know that for sure! ”It is terrible to think that the world could never have heard the great tenor, if not this wise woman. Constantly say to your children: “You can! You will cope with it! ”- it is very inspiring.
3.COMPAREwith other children.
“Look, what Anya is clean and tidy. Not that you are a pig! ”Seems familiar? I cannot understand one thing: what do mothers want to achieve by uttering these words? In addition to hating Anya, it is difficult to cause other emotions here ...
My little sister and I went to the store. Sister was 3 years old, her face was painted with green spots: she picked up chicken pox. Saleswomen who had nothing to do with themselves turned in our direction and giggled: “Oh, what a beauty came to us! Just look! ”Only one thought occurred to me: where would I take a submachine gun nearby and shoot them? ..
5.We offendwords and deeds.
In the 8th grade, I considered myself a fully grown-up and independent girl. One day, we sat up with dad over geometry, which my brain completely refused to understand. And then my father smacked me in the hearts ... on the pope! It was not so much pain, but incredibly insulting! I did not talk to him for a long time. But he could not understand that he really hurt me so much ...
6.SCREAM andgo out of yourself.
I remember in the maternity hospital my neighbor, exhausted by the whimpering of her baby, grabbed him and started shaking and yelling: “What the hell do you still need?” I will never forget the huge, blue, terrified eyes of a baby who did not understand what was happening. It seems that she herself was very ashamed afterwards ...
And believe me, this is the worst. A Japanese scientist showed the world the experience with plants. Three identical grains were planted in three jars. Every morning, passing by the first can, the scientist greeted the sprout and spoke kind words to him. Before the second can, he shouted and called the plant offensive words. He simply ignored the third sprout: without looking, he passed by. It is not difficult to guess what happened with the sprouts in a month. The first one spiked with a juicy green color across the entire width of the sill.The second one is completely dry. And the third one is rotten! Children, too, are like green shoots: over the years, parents have reaped only what they have grown themselves!
Now look away from the monitor and imagine your baby. Here he squeezes his plump fists, wrinkles his nose and smiles in the full width of his toothless mouth. And in response, something big and tender unfolds in your chest.